Sunday, March 23, 2008

Paul McCartney Dead?

First off, I'd like to take a moment and apologise for the long leave of absence.

I'd like to. But I won't. (Some wicked word-play, huh?)

Instead, I'll be the same ol' escapist that you guys have grown to love over the past few months and blame it on college and other boring aspects of my life. Some would say that's mighty arrogant of me. But when God has blessed you with the rare talents of being able to blow bubbles with spit and procure pimples around your nose, delusions of grandeur are somewhat justified. Wouldn't you say?

Wow. From self-importance to self-indignation in the same paragraph. I'm on fire.

Anyhoo... I'm back. Well, atleast for now. And I have some interesting reading lined up for y'all. Yesterday, an extremely random and pointless link following rampage led me to one of the most detailed conspiracy theory websites I've seen in a long time. I love conspiracy theories. Partly because they prove that you can come up with the most ludicrous conclusion and work backwards to find clues that vaguely point to it. But mostly, I find the theorists more interesting than the theories themselves. There's this unique dichotomy to them. It's like they're telling you, "Yeah. I can disprove logic.... With logic." It's one of those 'fight fire with fire' things that I don't quite get. Having said that, lemme also tell you that there are some conspiracy theories out there which sound just as convincing as the more commonly believed notions. The one I'm talking about is NOT one of them.

The website's called "Officially Pronounced Dead? The Great Beatle Death Conspiracy."

The back-story:
On Wednesday November 9th, 1966, The Beatles were in the studio working on an album that would go on to become the masterpiece that is 'Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band'. Paul McCartney left the studio with his bandmates a little before 5 am. On his way home, he offered a lift to a woman walking in the rain. Once the woman realised the person driving the car was Paul McCartney, she went ape-shit on his ass, which caused Paul to lose control and get into a fatal car accident. The accident caused the car to explode and left Paul decapitated.

Now, apparently, this wasn't enough to deter the spirits of the remaining Beatles, who decided to secretly replace Paul with a look-alike named William Campbell. But the guilt of duping their fans made them drop subtle hints about the conspiracy in their album covers, lyrics, etc.

The website is a collection of alleged "clues" discovered thus far. The home page implores you to- "Turn down the lights and pour yourself a glass of wine for you are about to explore one of the greatest rock and roll conspiracies of all time!"

Why the website demands behaviour befitting a hot date, is something that escapes me. But it, nevertheless, provides for reading recommended for all Beatles fans and pretty much anyone who has a few hours to kill. Enjoy.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go do some reading on why some people believe Akon, Sean Paul and Kumar Sanu are really the same person. Unbelievable, you say? Think again.

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