Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Epiphany, Part 2.

When it's between CG and CN, the choice is never right.

CG: Computer Graphics.
CN: Computer Networks.

Monday, February 25, 2008


USP is not fun.

USP: Unix System Programming.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

"Life" rhymes with "bitch". Sorry. Not rhymes with. Is.

Well, John the Baptist after torturing a thief
Looks up at his hero the Commander-in-Chief
Saying, "Tell me great hero, but please make it brief
Is there a hole for me to get sick in?"

The Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a fly
Saying, "Death to all those who would whimper and cry"
And dropping a bar bell he points to the sky
Saying, "The sun's not yellow it's chicken"

Mama's in the fact'ry
She ain't got no shoes.
Daddy's in the alley
He's lookin' for food.
I'm in the kitchen
With the tombstone blues
-Bob Dylan (Tombstone Blues)

You guessed right. Internals around the corner. *Groan*

Friday, February 15, 2008

...because it's the funk that separates us from the animals.

This is why...

Once again, we learn that when it comes to astuteness, Charlie Brown is Boss.

Learn, Linus. Learn.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Alternate endings to the last Harry Potter book

Greetings, devoted readers. It's been too long.

So what have I been upto lately? Not blogging, that's for sure. But that can mostly be attributed to the long, not-so-awesome hours being spent in college these days. And since the sem has just begun, I urge you all to brace yourselves for several such periods of dormancy.

No! Stop! Don't reach for those knives just yet! Suicide is never the answer.

As mind-numbingly boring as college can be, it can sometimes act as a breeding ground for some great blogging ideas. Just the other day, a friend and I were discussing the final Harry Potter book in class. A one-off incident, really. Normally, in class, I indulge in much more masculine activities, like sleeping. Anyway, he brought up the ending and how everyone he knows really liked it. I, however, will risk getting lynched by a Potter-crazy mob and admit that I wasn't really impressed by the way J.K.Rowling decided to end things.

Personally, my favourite character was Lord Voldemort. He seemed like a badass and God knows how much I appreciate badass-ness. To have Voldemort killed by his own rebounded curse, in my opinion, is just a tad better than to see him succumb to a really bad case of food poisoning. So, I decided to put my super-power of blogging to good use and come up with some alternate endings which, had they been used in place of the actual confrontation between Harry and Voldemort, would've made the book a lot more enjoyable to me.

So, here they are:

1. Voldemort shuts Harry the hell up, once and for all, by roundhouse kicking him, Chuck Norris style. He then brings Dumbledore back to life only to kill him again with an equally devastating roundhouse kick.

2. Voldemort gets pissed off at Harry for always coming at him with an insultingly ineffective disarming spell and decides to show him how it's really done by blasting Harry's ass to smithereens using an earth-shattering Hadouken attack.

3. Harry decides to join forces with Voldemort. They seal the deal by performing the Fusion Dance and become Harry-mort: 50% Harry, 50% Voldemort and 100% awesome. They then kill anyone who doesn't think Dragonball Z is pure awesomeness. They also torture and kill Bellatrix Lestrange for being the most unnecessarily obnoxious character in the series.

4. If Voldemort's death was inevitable, then I would've liked to see him go in this fashion:
Voldemort and Harry have a nail-bitingly close duel in which Voldemort seems to have the edge before Hermione creeps up behind him and deals out a vicious low blow. Harry then finishes Voldemort off with a Stone-Cold Stunner, opens a can of beer and says, "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!"

Keep in mind that all of the suggested endings are enjoyed most in the absence of the torturous epilogue. Anyone who procreates and names his son Albus Severus deserves to die a most painful death.

Also, please note: SPOILER ALERT.

You may now discuss.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Bring on the Crunk!

Today, dear friends, marks a landmark occasion in the short yet eventful history of "Ramblings of the Self-Important", because today I come to you live from the Taylor household. This past evening, Arshad Yaqub Taylor (most of you know him and if you don't, I pity your existence) played host to a supremely awesome B.Y.O.B. party.

The festivities began at around 7. The libations flowed, the music played and the Gods of inebriation smiled down upon us. As one of the few sober (read super-cool) people at pretty much every party, I normally keep myself occupied with a little game I like to call Talking-to-the-Drunk-People. Today, however, was different. Today, an extremely boisterous Nambi D. left us all thoroughly entertained (and also slightly disturbed) with his incessant discussions about faeces.

Don't ask.


Also, during the party, my demigod status was affirmed when the following questions were put to me... "Akaash. How do you manage to stay so cool? What's the secret to your good looks? How do I become more like you?" To which I replied, "Well, Arshad, it's a gift. One that can only be obtained from hundreds of hours of comic-book reading."

It's 2 in the morning right now. Needless to say, everyone is pretty much OUT. Apart from me, Arshad is the only one awake, despite his efforts to wake the others up and get them to help him finish the alcohol.

Yep. Tonight was great and the history books might even refer to it as "bitchin'".