Sunday, January 27, 2008

Something Boring This Way Comes...

Today sucks. Not as much as it would've had Djokovic lost. But it still does. The reason?

College begins in a day.

Seriously, VTU. If you had a face, I would bitchslap it.

I would. I'd bitchslap your face. Ninja Style. Like so...

Sunday, January 20, 2008

A Day In My Life....


Yep. That's right. My life is off the hizzle!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Shoot 'em Up! Badass or Totally Badass?

I watched Shoot 'em Up yesterday and if you were to ask me, "Akaash. Is Shoot 'em Up the most badass movie ever?" I would answer, "Yes!" right after I hand your ass a beat-down for doubting the movie.

It would be impossible to summarise the awesomeness of this work of art in a single blog post but just to give you an idea, let me try and do justice to the opening sequence.

The movie starts off with a gunfight in which a gunman, played by Clive Owen (who, I suspect, might just be God's representative for Badass-ness on Earth), takes on a whole bunch of henchmen, single-handedly, while helping a woman deliver a friggin' baby. Oh and did I mention, he actually kills one of the goons with a f*@#ing carrot.

And that's not even the highlight of the movie.

Other super-rad moments include:
- A gunfight in which Clive Owen owns a bunch of goons while making love to a hooker.
- A gunfight in which Clive Owen owns a bunch of goons in a firearms factory
- A gunfight in which Clive Owen owns a bunch of goons while free-falling from an airplane.
- A gunfight in which Clive Owen owns a bunch of goons by firing bullets without a gun (not kidding).
- This line:
Smith (Clive Owen): I'm a British nanny and I'm dangerous.

If that wasn't enough to convince you of the radness of this movie, then you are completely retarded.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Now Groove, Sucka!

For those of you who know Jacob Thomas Chacko (AKA Chacks), here's a download link (right click and choose "Save Target As") to an audio file that is exactly the kinda thing that the word "AWESOME" was invented to describe.

Kindly note that our friend, the reborn Sinatra, has no clue that this audio file has been leaked. Let's keep things that way till the next time we meet him.

Until then.... Jaya Nagaraj Tara...

You know what everyone likes? Monkeys....

I didn't quite have a real post lined up for the day.

Therefore, I decided to blow all your minds with pictures of..... wait for it..... Monkeys!!!

Behold!


Friendly Monkeys...


Creepy Monkeys...


Really Creepy Monkeys...


Arctic Monkeys...


Hand Puppet Monkeys...

You're minds have officially been blown.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

My name is Andrew Symonds. Please help me pull my head out of my ass.

We're about a day away from the Perth test match. Like all Indian cricket fans, I sincerely hope India can come back strong after being denied a draw in the Sydney test, by the umpires. Unacceptable as the decisions were on that fateful day, what angers me a lot more is the Australian cricket team's conduct after the match. And by the Australian cricket team, I mean Andrew Symonds.

If you've been a supporter of Mr.Symonds through the Bhajji-Symonds controversy, this post is not for you. This link, however, may be more to your liking.

In order to conform to the theme of this post, Mr.Symonds will be referred to as Mr.Numbnuts for the remainder of the post.


Now, racism, in any form, is a very serious issue. But Mr.Numbnuts' take on racial taunts from other players isn't just stupid, it's downright hilarious. According to Mr.Numbnuts, racial slurs towards him are alright when they come from his own teammates or from opposition players who he knows well.

So, if you're a friend of Mr.Numbnuts and happen to call him the 'M' word, there's absolutely no need to sweat it because Mr.Numbnuts likes you, inspite of the fact that you're a bigot. But, if you're someone like Bhajji, who has been tremendously fortunate not to run in the same circles as Mr.Numbnuts, then you had better watch out. Therefore, my advice to Bhajji would be that the next time he wants to call Mr.Numbnuts a "monkey", he should buy him a beer and get to know him before doing so.

I am in no way implying that Bhajji said the things that Mr.Numbnuts claims he did. But even if he did call Mr.Numbnuts a "monkey", I don't think he meant it as a racial slur. I think he just meant to call Mr.Numbnuts a dread-locked troglodyte who has an I.Q. and personality to match that of a primate.

Congratulations, Mr.Numbnuts. You just made the top spot on my shit-list. Just above Steve "Dipshit" Bucknor.

This blog is The Shiznit!

Just noticed that my blog has now crossed the 50 hits mark. It's quite late at night (do not trust the post-time info below the post... it lies) but even that won't stop me from dancing around in circles.

This momentous occasion tells me that you must really love me or really hate yourself to keep coming back for more. Either way, a big heartfelt THANK YOU goes out to everyone who's indulged in the self-inflicted torture that is tantamount to reading this blog.

Thanks to your support, my attempts towards the devastation of the World Wide Web continue...

Sunday, January 13, 2008

This ain't no filler-post, fool!

I think I can safely assume that anyone who's read this blog understands the importance I place on my journalistic integrity. Nothing would be worse to me than to appear derelict in my blogging duties.

Therefore, my devoted readers, this post is a consequence of the obligation that I feel towards you. It is now my sole purpose in life to come up with posts on a regular basis, no matter how inconsequential and/or irrelevant they may seem. It's a classic case of quantity over quality.

I guaran-damn-tee (Yeah. That's right. Hyphens AND Infixes) that you will see (or rather... read) more of me.

Friday, January 11, 2008

"Self-Important"... It says so right there in the header, so don't say I didn't warn you.

You may frown upon me now, for cluttering your favourite blog (hah!) with unnecessary posts such as this, but blogging, contrary to what I believed, can be difficult.

It seems to me that no blogger can have a blog without intermittent patches of inactivity which he/she ends with an apology-post in which he/she explains how the past few days have been the busiest of his/her life. But the real reason, however, is that people just run out of things to say.

But not me.

Since I can't even be sure of whether more than 2 people (and that's including myself) know of this blog, I don't think I owe an apology to anyone. On the off-chance that you do know about this blog and are still nice enough to check in regularly for updates.... I'm sorry...

And now, what you've all been waiting for (double hah!), a rundown of the week that was....

The Music: Re-discovering Coheed & Cambria's debut album, The Second Stage Turbine Blade.

The Movies: Finally caught I Am Legend (awesome), Taare Zameen Par (also awesome) and SuperBad (more like super-awesome).

The Anime: Getting my daily dose of Cowboy Bebop (for the 3rd time) and Fullmetal Alchemist (1st time). Totally bitchin'.

The Comics: Still haven't checked out last month's and this month's titles. Criminal... I know. But seriously, with the kind of stuff Gotham has been bringing out lately, the only thing I regret missing is Joss Whedon's run on Astonishing X-Men.

The Vacations: Have been awesome thus far. Only 16 days left... *sob*

The Chicks: They're all over me.

So there you go... A post that tells you exactly why I call this blog "Ramblings of the Self-Important".

Until next time... Sayonara.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Why So Serious?

Alright. So if you're anything like me (a truly dreadful prospect... I know), you probably can't wait for summer '08. The reason would be the much awaited release of the sequel to the 2005 blockbuster, Batman Begins.

For those of you who haven't yet checked it out, here's the official trailer to The Dark Knight...



Now, after watching that, most people won't really need me to tell them that that was freakin' awesome. But screw most people.... That was FREAKIN' AWESOME.

It's got Christian Bale playing Batman, Christopher Nolan directing and Heath Ledger giving the character of the Joker a twist that has comic book lovers everywhere flipping out (in a good way, of course.)

Add to the mix this mind-shatteringly badass arm-driven motorcycle and what you'll get is a movie that just could not get any better.






Wait. What's that?

They're coming up with an anime prequel to the movie?

Holy Cow!!!

Um, yeah. I'd say the movie just got a whole lot better.

Here comes the PAIN!!!!

Yes, it's true.... God really does love you that much!

What else could possibly explain the existence of this super-awesome blog?

Now I know that at first look your thoughts might be along the lines of "This is such a bad idea." But that's what we all said when we first heard news about Britney Spears procreating and look how much entertainment that's provided us with.

Your criticism is welcome (so long as you refer to the contents of the blog as "The Shit")....

I look forward to the one-sided dialogue...